| Yea | Nay | Rank | Votes |
| Login To Vote | 1 | 20 | MIT: Because not everyone can go to Caltech |
| Login To Vote | 2 | 19 | Harvard - When You're Too Dumb For MIT And Too Rich For UMass |
| Login To Vote | 3 | 13 | Michigan Tech - where the men are real men, and so are the women. |
| Login To Vote | 4 | 10 | U. Of Miami Football - 23 days since our last felony arrest! |
| Login To Vote | 5 | 7 | square root, cube root, log of pi! Disintegrate 'em, RPI! |
| Login To Vote | 6 | 7 | UMBC -u Made a Bad Choice |
| Login To Vote | 7 | 6 | That "N" on the Cornhuskers helmet? It stands for "knowledge" |
| Login To Vote | 8 | 6 | They call themselves Tarheels, but they really just stepped in dog crap. |
| Login To Vote | 9 | 4 | A Wolverine Is Just A Fat Weasel |
| Login To Vote | 10 | 4 | Happiness is crushed Buckeye nuts... |
| Login To Vote | 11 | 4 | Michigan Basketball - finally under the salary cap! |
| Login To Vote | 12 | 4 | The University Of Nebraska Cornholers |
| Login To Vote | 13 | 2 | Yale: It's good enough for the edjamacation of our praisadent |
| Login To Vote | 14 | 0 | My two favorite teams are Kansas and whoever is playing K-State |
| Login To Vote | 15 | -1 | For a good time, go to a (insert University here) sorority |
| Login To Vote | 16 | -3 | wrong colors |
| Login To Vote | 17 | -4 | Trojans Pop Under Pressure |
| Login To Vote | 18 | -5 | (true) For Austin Peay State University: "Go Peay!" |
| Login To Vote | 19 | -5 | Pop that Trojan defense! |
| Login To Vote | 20 | -6 | UMR were the men are men, and the sheep are afraid |
| Login To Vote | 21 | -7 | Colorado State University: When you can't afford to go to a real school |
| Login To Vote | 22 | -7 | F$U = Free $hoes University |
| Login To Vote | 23 | -9 | Kill, kill, kill! Blood makes the grass grow! |
| Login To Vote | 24 | -9 | m.i.t. sucks |
| Login To Vote | 25 | -9 | that's all right. that's okay. you're going to work for us some day. |
| Login To Vote | 26 | -9 | who cares, you'll just end up working for a graduate of that school anyway |
| Login To Vote | 27 | -10 | Pitt's fight rally (no matter who they play) Penn state sucks! P-E-N-S-T Sucks |
| Login To Vote | 28 | -10 | Wake Forest --- You F*ck Sheep! You F*ck Sheep! |
| Login To Vote | 29 | -11 | Hawks taste just like chicken |
| Login To Vote | 30 | -11 | WildCats taste just like chicken |
| Login To Vote | 31 | -11 | You Want Fries with That? |
| Login To Vote | 32 | -12 | No Big Words. Coach. |
| Login To Vote | 33 | -15 | Your University sucks! |
List of May 22, 2002
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