| Yea | Nay | Rank | Votes |
| Login To Vote | 1 | 30 | You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city. |
| Login To Vote | 2 | 25 | You wake up staring at the ceiling, and notice its absence. |
| Login To Vote | 3 | 24 | Moon turns to blood, it rains fire and brimestone, and your fresh outta beer |
| Login To Vote | 4 | 21 | Step outside in underwear to pick up morning paper; door locks behind you |
| Login To Vote | 5 | 18 | You wake up next to your mom. Naked. |
| Login To Vote | 6 | 17 | There's a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office |
| Login To Vote | 7 | 17 | You wake up with a chalk outline around your body |
| Login To Vote | 8 | 15 | headline of morning paper includes your name and the words "corporate scandle" |
| Login To Vote | 9 | 12 | Then you remember that you don't have a waterbed. |
| Login To Vote | 10 | 9 | You're woken when a car enters your bedroom. |
| Login To Vote | 11 | 6 | Blinding pain in one or more orifices |
| Login To Vote | 12 | 6 | Your boss starts out a sentence with "We've got to talk..." |
| Login To Vote | 13 | 4 | 90% of your list items are in the negative.. |
| Login To Vote | 14 | 3 | You wake up on a Vogon demolition ship |
| Login To Vote | 15 | 2 | After a wild party, you wake up next to Janet Reno |
| Login To Vote | 16 | 2 | you wake up tied naked to a lamp post |
| Login To Vote | 17 | 1 | 4am.. 3 broken windows.. 2 cops.. 1 suspect - you. |
| Login To Vote | 18 | 1 | It's 4am and you're still at work. |
| Login To Vote | 19 | 0 | Turn your wrist to look at your watch and dump coffee on yourself |
| Login To Vote | 20 | 0 | You mistakenly brush your teeth with Preparation H |
| Login To Vote | 21 | 0 | You wake up alone, in an alley, wearing a chicken suit. |
| Login To Vote | 22 | 0 | Your girlfriend finds the pictures of you and her sister. |
| Login To Vote | 23 | -1 | dream you ate the largest marshmallow, then wake up to find your pillow missing |
| Login To Vote | 24 | -1 | The guard asks you what you want for your last breakfast |
| Login To Vote | 25 | -1 | You wake up naked, in a jail cell, and with a cellmate MUCH bigger than you. |
| Login To Vote | 26 | -1 | you wake up to someone yelling "CLEAR!" |
| Login To Vote | 27 | -1 | You're Bin Laden and the troops have found you. (good for us, tho) |
| Login To Vote | 28 | -2 | the keepers website is down.. ahhhhhh |
| Login To Vote | 29 | -3 | cows dream on eml street |
| Login To Vote | 30 | -3 | Today's the day you owe Two-Ton Charlie his money, and you don't have it. |
| Login To Vote | 31 | -3 | You wake up face down on the pavement. |
| Login To Vote | 32 | -3 | You're me |
| Login To Vote | 33 | -4 | You boss says to you at 4:45 "You don't have any major projects to do do you?" |
| Login To Vote | 34 | -4 | You see your picture on the wall of the Post Office |
| Login To Vote | 35 | -5 | A telemarketer calls you at 5:40am... again |
| Login To Vote | 36 | -5 | Your boss starts out a sentence with "Now you've been here how long..." |
| Login To Vote | 37 | -5 | Your lawyer tells you he's leaving.. with your wife. |
| Login To Vote | 38 | -5 | your out of booze |
| Login To Vote | 39 | -5 | "I cooked you break fast - cereal, liver and eggs" - 6yr old |
| Login To Vote | 40 | -6 | "Remember that meeting you were prepping for on the 29th, its today instead!" |
| Login To Vote | 41 | -6 | It's payday and you work for a dot.com |
| Login To Vote | 42 | -6 | The First Lady finds you sitting on the Presidential Staff |
| Login To Vote | 43 | -6 | You run a red light, and sideswipe a cop in the process |
| Login To Vote | 44 | -6 | You see your name in the Obituaries column of the paper |
| Login To Vote | 45 | -6 | You wake up on time but dont know where you are |
| Login To Vote | 46 | -6 | You wake up to find police have surrounded your house |
| Login To Vote | 47 | -6 | You wake up... next to your boss |
| Login To Vote | 48 | -6 | "Did You Get That Memo About the TPS Reports?" |
| Login To Vote | 49 | -7 | A collect call from your son.. in jail |
| Login To Vote | 50 | -7 | You wake up in a bathroom with your head on the seat, confused. |
| Login To Vote | 51 | -7 | You wake up to find that you've been cloned and you're in a bad action movie. |
| Login To Vote | 52 | -7 | you work for Microsoft and there's a worldwide vaseline shortage |
| Login To Vote | 53 | -7 | Your boss calls you at 3am and asks you to come in |
| Login To Vote | 54 | -7 | "dear... I'm pregnant!" |
| Login To Vote | 55 | -8 | you wake up to your kid talking to the snow on tv |
| Login To Vote | 56 | -9 | SETI get a message "Death to Earthling Vermin" |
| Login To Vote | 57 | -9 | Woken up by a telemarketer |
| Login To Vote | 58 | -9 | You doctor says.. "have you heard about those artificial limbs.." |
| Login To Vote | 59 | -9 | You smell smoke.. and that's not waffles! |
| Login To Vote | 60 | -9 | "... we're from the frederal whitness protection agency..." |
| Login To Vote | 61 | -9 | "I can't handle this project, deadline tomorrow, boss said for you to do it" |
| Login To Vote | 62 | -10 | You ask for rain, and it does--only when you're outside without an umbrella. |
| Login To Vote | 63 | -10 | You work for Nortel |
| Login To Vote | 64 | -11 | In the company newsletter: Holiday bonuses officially cancelled. |
| Login To Vote | 65 | -11 | You wake up dead |
| Login To Vote | 66 | -11 | You wake up next to an unfamiliar face |
| Login To Vote | 67 | -11 | Your toaster eats your hand, and your computer eats your files. |
| Login To Vote | 68 | -11 | "Hey Bob.. don't forget that speach you promissed to make!"AHHHH! |
| Login To Vote | 69 | -11 | "Today's the family reunion.." |
| Login To Vote | 70 | -12 | "Today were gonna try something a little different" and you work in porn flicks |
| Login To Vote | 71 | -12 | There's a mysterious white box next to your desk. |
| Login To Vote | 72 | -12 | When someone says to you "It sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays" |
| Login To Vote | 73 | -12 | You fall off the wrong side of the bed. |
| Login To Vote | 74 | -12 | You put your bra on backwards on it fits better. |
| Login To Vote | 75 | -12 | You wake up - period. |
| Login To Vote | 76 | -13 | Today is your funeral! |
| Login To Vote | 77 | -13 | You have to go to work |
| Login To Vote | 78 | -14 | 4 people come by your desk to ask you why you screwed up that project |
| Login To Vote | 79 | -14 | All 4 of your bosses walk by your desk to tell you where you screwed up. |
| Login To Vote | 80 | -14 | It's Monday again |
| Login To Vote | 81 | -14 | you wake up and can hardly move |
| Login To Vote | 82 | -14 | You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke. |
| Login To Vote | 83 | -15 | You got arrested for pulling the tag off your new mattress |
| Login To Vote | 84 | -15 | you work for a .com |
| Login To Vote | 85 | -16 | Horoscope reads "Get back in bed!" |
| Login To Vote | 86 | -16 | You have to do some work outside today, and you wake up to hear thunder. |
List of July 17, 2002
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