| Yea | Nay | Rank | Votes |
| Login To Vote | 1 | 22 | "I felt it was better to sleep at home rather than at the office." |
| Login To Vote | 2 | 21 | I drove to the place I'd rather work at by mistake |
| Login To Vote | 3 | 15 | "I'm not late. I decided to change my hours to make them more convenient." |
| Login To Vote | 4 | 12 | I'm a newlywed. Do you want me to continue? |
| Login To Vote | 5 | 10 | I tried a new way in to work and it took me two hours." |
| Login To Vote | 6 | 10 | "John Smith, one of our biggest CLIENTS, was stranded with a flat tire..." |
| Login To Vote | 7 | 9 | "The bartender wouldn't let me leave." |
| Login To Vote | 8 | 6 | It takes a lot of time to dump a body. |
| Login To Vote | 9 | 6 | Your wife didn't have my breakfast ready on time. |
| Login To Vote | 10 | 6 | "The wind was blowing against me." |
| Login To Vote | 11 | 5 | I saw a bright shiny object |
| Login To Vote | 12 | 2 | I'm not late, your early. |
| Login To Vote | 13 | 1 | Traffic jam caused by stopped clan of tibetan yak herders. |
| Login To Vote | 14 | 0 | I was delayed by a rip in the space-time continuum |
| Login To Vote | 15 | 0 | Radio broken in my car and I can't drive without music |
| Login To Vote | 16 | -1 | Accidently stepped into an alternate dimension |
| Login To Vote | 17 | -1 | I know I'm. I will make an "extra special" effort next week. |
| Login To Vote | 18 | -1 | I used up all of my sick days, so today I'm calling in dead. |
| Login To Vote | 19 | -1 | My dog ate my alarm clock |
| Login To Vote | 20 | -1 | The bell for happy hour just ended |
| Login To Vote | 21 | -1 | "Sorry, I had to work late at my other job." |
| Login To Vote | 22 | -1 | "The traffic lights were mistimed on my way in." |
| Login To Vote | 23 | -2 | I had to refill my cat. |
| Login To Vote | 24 | -2 | I removed my own apendix with a tire iron |
| Login To Vote | 25 | -2 | The evil monkey hid my pants. |
| Login To Vote | 26 | -2 | there was a skunk on my hood & my phone did not work |
| Login To Vote | 27 | -2 | "Hay, I'm your boss." |
| Login To Vote | 28 | -2 | "I hit a mountain lion on the way to work." |
| Login To Vote | 29 | -2 | "The autopilot in my car didn't work." |
| Login To Vote | 30 | -3 | Got a nut stuck in the bathtub drain (again). |
| Login To Vote | 31 | -3 | I was locked in a stairwell and waited until 4am to call the police to get me. |
| Login To Vote | 32 | -3 | I wasn't late, I was just early for tomorrow. |
| Login To Vote | 33 | -5 | I had possums on the roof and spent the morning calling exterminators |
| Login To Vote | 34 | -5 | I had to find my car |
| Login To Vote | 35 | -5 | I was busy quiting my other job. |
| Login To Vote | 36 | -5 | I was high |
| Login To Vote | 37 | -5 | "I have a 15th century clock" (Minute hands added in the 17th cent.) |
| Login To Vote | 38 | -5 | "Wasn't my fault, there was some dumb hobo in my windshield!" |
| Login To Vote | 39 | -6 | Small subspace rift catapulted me 1 hour forward in time |
| Login To Vote | 40 | -6 | "My favorite actress got married. I needed time alone." |
| Login To Vote | 41 | -7 | My plane crashed |
| Login To Vote | 42 | -7 | Was making the world safe from terrorist scum, lost track of time |
| Login To Vote | 43 | -8 | I'm sorry boss, I was keying your car in the garage when... |
| Login To Vote | 44 | -8 | "I forgot what day it was. I thought it was the weekend." |
| Login To Vote | 45 | -9 | That recurring XML glitch occured on Keepers again |
| Login To Vote | 46 | -9 | "The line at Starbucks was out the door." |
| Login To Vote | 47 | -10 | My garage door was frozen shut and the elevators in this building are too slow |
| Login To Vote | 48 | -10 | Slight case of death. |
| Login To Vote | 49 | -10 | your car decided to take the long way |
| Login To Vote | 50 | -10 | "My roommate locked me in the bathroom." |
| Login To Vote | 51 | -10 | "The dog was asleep behind the car, so I couldn't back out of the driveway." |
| Login To Vote | 52 | -11 | I had to floss the cat. |
| Login To Vote | 53 | -11 | i had to hide the documents, they cant be out, must be hidden... ahhhhhh |
| Login To Vote | 54 | -11 | Performing a roadside tracheotomy |
| Login To Vote | 55 | -11 | "I was imagining what it would be like in your shoes." |
| Login To Vote | 56 | -11 | "My dog swallowed my car keys." |
| Login To Vote | 57 | -12 | Attacked by rabid IRS agents |
| Login To Vote | 58 | -13 | I caught my left hand in the subway |
| Login To Vote | 59 | -13 | Your SO is into kinky sex, you woke up tied to the bed and couldn't get free. |
| Login To Vote | 60 | -14 | Got tied up rescueing two dogs that were stuck together. |
| Login To Vote | 61 | -14 | "A helicopter landed in the street and I couldn't get around it." |
| Login To Vote | 62 | -15 | I saw a rare species of elephant and had to help it get to the zoo |
| Login To Vote | 63 | -16 | Was abducted by some aliens whose faces kinda looked like Jamie Farr |
| Login To Vote | 64 | -16 | Was operating the chipper naked and ... |
| Login To Vote | 65 | -16 | You've seen it once, you've used it before, you're still "Clinically Dead" |
| Login To Vote | 66 | -16 | "I swear! the road split, and i was warped into the Land of the Lost!" |
| Login To Vote | 67 | -16 | "The waitress spilled a latte on me." |
| Login To Vote | 68 | -19 | i died and i gotta go to the funeral |
| Login To Vote | 69 | -19 | I was taken by aliens and sold as a sex slave to Blubba the Gut |
| Login To Vote | 70 | -22 | I was abducted by aliens and they used an anal probe on me |
| Login To Vote | 71 | -23 | Sebulba flashed me with his flame jets. |
List of July 13, 2003
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