List of November 25, 1996

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	Top 183 Signs Your Cat Is Overweight By the Keeper
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	Total List Votes: 99 Overall List Rank: 7.8990 out of 10

Yea Nay Rank Votes Login To Vote 1 78 Has a smaller cat in orbit around it. Login To Vote 2 58 It lands on its belly before it lands on its feet. Login To Vote 3 49 The last hairball he coughed up was actually your dog Login To Vote 4 47 You apply wax to his belly to shine the kitchen floor Login To Vote 5 43 Prefers catfood fried. Login To Vote 6 41 He has to move 3 folds of fat before he can lick himself Login To Vote 7 39 It needs a ramp to get into the kitty litter box Login To Vote 8 39 The vet said don't bother neutering/spaying it because no cat would ever... Login To Vote 9 38 He can't see his feet either Login To Vote 10 36 It gives you a funny look when you bring home only one bag of cat chow. Login To Vote 11 35 When it's run over by a car and the car comes off worst Login To Vote 12 30 Light cannot escape kitty's gravitation field Login To Vote 13 29 You can drive your car through the kitty door Login To Vote 14 29 Zoo calls and asks if Hippo is for sale Login To Vote 15 28 It sits on your chest and suffocates you Login To Vote 16 27 Gets stuck in the kitty litter box. Login To Vote 17 27 He has a hoola hoop for a collar Login To Vote 18 27 The neighborhood wolves have been eating it for days. Login To Vote 19 27 The Vet always charges double because it's just like two cats Login To Vote 20 26 Chases a wind-up mouse and loses. Login To Vote 21 23 It becomes a topic worthy of discussion. Login To Vote 22 23 Prevents you from moving into an apartment because he doesn't meet the 25lb. and under pet policy. Login To Vote 23 23 Your kitty is sometimes mistake for a furry beanbag chair Login To Vote 24 22 Its sweater is bigger than yours Login To Vote 25 22 Other cats, in the neighborhood, point at it and snicker. Login To Vote 26 21 Eats bon bons and watches Oprah Login To Vote 27 20 Princess Margaret breaks a bottle of Champagne on it's head and tries to launch it Login To Vote 28 20 The Geological Survey keeps complaining that the cat is constantly setting off the earthquake detectors. Login To Vote 29 20 You couldn't get it neutered because the vet couldn't find its testicles Login To Vote 30 19 Word "GOODYEAR" painted on both of it's sides. Login To Vote 31 18 When mice point and snicker Login To Vote 32 18 You give it a "waffer-theen" mint and it explodes Login To Vote 33 17 it's nick-name is "DAMN!" Login To Vote 34 17 when he starts eating deep fried meow mix Login To Vote 35 16 Even the vet thinks she's pregnant Login To Vote 36 16 Has it's own gravity pull Login To Vote 37 16 You find the place where everything you lose goes to (socks, teaspoons, important phone numbers etc) and it's inside your cat Login To Vote 38 15 it jumped on the table and it broke Login To Vote 39 14 When it stands up, its legs buckle. Login To Vote 40 13 Bounces on his belly instead of walking Login To Vote 41 13 It has a nipple with the words "inflate to 60 PSI" around it Login To Vote 42 12 Istead of taking him for a walk, you roll him down the sidewalk Login To Vote 43 12 You can use him as a waterbed Login To Vote 44 12 You had to re-enforce your floors Login To Vote 45 11 People try to walk around it, and get lost. Login To Vote 46 10 It signs up for the Sumo Cat Olympics. Login To Vote 47 10 It uses Garfield comic strips as a diet guide. Login To Vote 48 10 Prefers to *sit* on the mouse ... Login To Vote 49 10 when it steps on digital scale, the scale says one at a time please Login To Vote 50 10 You rent a berth at the marina on bath night. Login To Vote 51 9 He is drafted as a lineman in the NFL. Login To Vote 52 9 Its farts smell worse than the dog's. Login To Vote 53 9 Richard Simmons gave up on him Login To Vote 54 9 When he layed on your lap it broke both your legs Login To Vote 55 9 When he lies down, his legs are no where to be seen, all you can see is a furry rug with a head and tail. Login To Vote 56 9 You need a tractor and chain to take it for its morning drag Login To Vote 57 8 all hair on its stomach is gone from draging it on the floor Login To Vote 58 8 Ate the dog. Login To Vote 59 8 It doesn't leave the litterbox Login To Vote 60 8 It eclipses the sun Login To Vote 61 8 It start to chase the Oscar Meyer Hotdog car Login To Vote 62 8 Other cats have nicknamed him "Tiny" Login To Vote 63 7 Even the Chinese restaurants won't use him for their buffet. Login To Vote 64 7 Someone trys to climb it's north slope Login To Vote 65 7 the cat shows up on the map Login To Vote 66 7 You mistake the cats butt for the couch Login To Vote 67 6 Instead of wiskers, it uses it's butt to gage opening sizes. Login To Vote 68 6 It can intercept low-flying airplanes. Login To Vote 69 6 It doesn't have a kitty door, it rolls though the front door. Login To Vote 70 6 When geographers admit the discovery of an eighth continent Login To Vote 71 5 it dies and you use it to make a hat, mittens, a scarf, and a nice fur coat. Login To Vote 72 5 It had to become an outside cat because it's too big for the house. Login To Vote 73 5 It weighs more than you do Login To Vote 74 5 Nasa orbits a satelite around it Login To Vote 75 5 When it jumps it can be seen on the richter scale Login To Vote 76 5 when its mousing in the fields and you hear mooing..... but you don't have any cows Login To Vote 77 4 Starts wearing sweat pants Login To Vote 78 4 Takes twice as long to lick itself for a cat-bath Login To Vote 79 4 the cat is so fat it got stuck in the hallway! Login To Vote 80 4 When picking it up to hold requires a lumbar support Login To Vote 81 3 Bubba mistakes it for a bean bag chair and gets fifty stitches Login To Vote 82 3 When you find its picture in an encyclopaedia the caption says "rhino" Login To Vote 83 3 You celebrate the first time it can scratch an ear Login To Vote 84 2 If it sits in your lap and within minutes your legs are numb Login To Vote 85 2 neighbors complain of level 9 earthquakes when your cat runs Login To Vote 86 2 You have to butter the walls in the hall so that the cat can get through. Login To Vote 87 1 The neighbor kids mistake him for a pumpkin and try to carve him for halloween Login To Vote 88 1 The vet says, "well, looks like we don't need to test for worms!" Login To Vote 89 1 When the Goodyear blimp leaks,they call and ask to borow your cat. Login To Vote 90 0 Hair is too heavy for vacuum to pick up. Login To Vote 91 0 He/she was the cause for Weight Watchers introducing a feline diet plan Login To Vote 92 0 it jumps and causes an earthquake Login To Vote 93 0 The local demolition crew wants to use it as a wrecking ball Login To Vote 94 0 When he can't lick his back feet...and can't even see them. Login To Vote 95 0 you keep cracking the sidewalks Login To Vote 96 -1 Cat looks remarkedly like Bill Clinton when wearing jogging shorts Login To Vote 97 -1 It uses 30 story buildings as scratching posts. Login To Vote 98 -1 The last vet bill mentioned something about an Event Horizon Login To Vote 99 -1 the neighbor has been missing for week Login To Vote 100 -1 When it moves it affects the Tides Login To Vote 101 -1 When people jump when it enters the room Login To Vote 102 -2 Eats lasagna like Garfield . . . YIKES! Login To Vote 103 -2 It purrs and causes a 9.3 earthquake in Los Angeles Login To Vote 104 -2 Its identical twin now looks like its 1/8th sized clone. Login To Vote 105 -2 stretch marks Login To Vote 106 -2 When it goes to take a dump it can't get back up again Login To Vote 107 -2 When you can't breathe with it sleeping on your chest. Login To Vote 108 -2 When your cat sits on your dog and crushes him Login To Vote 109 -2 You can't find a big enough litterbox to fit him OR his turds, let alone both Login To Vote 110 -2 Your cat has become a black hole. Login To Vote 111 -3 Falls through the floor,even if you dont have a floor below that one Login To Vote 112 -3 Fitness clubs bid for his buisness! Login To Vote 113 -3 It never shut's up about it's food. Login To Vote 114 -3 It wins a Rush Limbaugh look-alike contest! Login To Vote 115 -3 Rosie O'Donnel swears its her lost child Login To Vote 116 -3 When he lays around the house...he REALLY lays AROUND the house Login To Vote 117 -3 When it appears on the Oprah Show Login To Vote 118 -3 When it sits on its spine with belly in air, it looks like the Buddha (hence its new nickname!) Login To Vote 119 -3 When it starts singing opera Login To Vote 120 -3 you feed it purina *fat* chow Login To Vote 121 -3 You watch him instead of roseanne Login To Vote 122 -3 Your budgie is gone, your pet mouse is gone, there's no more birds left in the neighbourhood... Login To Vote 123 -4 The last time he fit under the couch Carter was in office Login To Vote 124 -4 the neighbors are always talking about your wonderful heated couch Login To Vote 125 -5 Even Garfield laughs at his weight Login To Vote 126 -5 he looks yummy Login To Vote 127 -5 He recently got signed on as the "Garfield" stand-in...... Login To Vote 128 -5 Needs the pickup's bed for a litter box Login To Vote 129 -5 when you have to break the walls around the door in order to let it outside Login To Vote 130 -5 you're starting to see her skin through her fur Login To Vote 131 -6 a 5 pound bag of cat food is always on your weekly shopping list Login To Vote 132 -6 B. Kliban draws a picture of her but can't fit it on one page. Login To Vote 133 -6 goes on a diet called, \"eat tillyoudieofAheartattack!!!!!" Login To Vote 134 -6 It weighs more than your dad (who could pass for Homer Simpson) Login To Vote 135 -6 Phone bill has calls to 1-900-LIPOSUCTION Login To Vote 136 -6 When garfield admits defeat Login To Vote 137 -7 he doesnt seem to fit in your house anymore Login To Vote 138 -7 He makes a running mad dash to the tree he wants to climb, jumps, clings on to base of trunk. Login To Vote 139 -7 He's been using my StairMaster a lot more lately Login To Vote 140 -7 It outgrows its "I'm a spoiled kitty with a personilized bed" bed Login To Vote 141 -7 Jenny Craig runs away screaming "Get that monstrosity away from me! There's nothing I can do for her!" Login To Vote 142 -7 Oprah Winfrey sends him simpathy cards! Login To Vote 143 -7 when (s)he was left out in the blizzard of '96, the snow angel left was as large as a pick up Login To Vote 144 -7 When you try to attach it to the window with suction cup feet the house collapses. Login To Vote 145 -7 You're always taking it out for dinner Login To Vote 146 -8 It's favorite food is lasagna. Login To Vote 147 -8 The cat's sheddings leave dents in the kitchen floor. Login To Vote 148 -9 It makes Garfield look good Login To Vote 149 -9 When it can't outrun your overweight father! Login To Vote 150 -9 You find yourself sleeping on ITS blanket! Login To Vote 151 -10 HE always has this tremendous erdge to graze Login To Vote 152 -10 Your cat's breath smells worse than the bathroom when you Dad's throughh using it! Oh the stench!! Login To Vote 153 -11 It's bigger than you Login To Vote 154 -11 The cat looks like Norm from Cheers Login To Vote 155 -11 There is no more free space in the universe Login To Vote 156 -11 You can drill 3 holes in it and use it for a bowling ball. Login To Vote 157 -11 You can't pick it up Login To Vote 158 -12 It's cattray is bigger than Sahara Login To Vote 159 -12 You have to be reanimated if it jumps on your stomach Login To Vote 160 -13 if you put you cat on the scale and the scale breaks! Login To Vote 161 -13 It's Bill Clinton's stunt double. Login To Vote 162 -13 When she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house Login To Vote 163 -14 Only Roseanne will chase it. Login To Vote 164 -14 You're overweight Login To Vote 165 -15 has a fat arse Login To Vote 166 -16 Health Clubs Turn Him Down Login To Vote 167 -16 IF its diet plan is 200000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 meals a day.......not including dinner Login To Vote 168 -16 Neighbours talking about your kittens Login To Vote 169 -16 Roseanne won't even look at it. Login To Vote 170 -16 weighs 20 pounds or even more Login To Vote 171 -17 If your cat looks like my cat.. Login To Vote 172 -17 It's Chiarman of a U.K. utility company Login To Vote 173 -19 His nickname is Wuggy Norple Login To Vote 174 -19 If it is meowing then it must be a duck!! Login To Vote 175 -19 when your cat goes on a diet Login To Vote 176 -19 your cat is so fat it got stuck in the hallway! Login To Vote 177 -20 If your going to get a fat cat call it Bacon Login To Vote 178 -20 Your weight sighs in relief: whew, it's only you Login To Vote 179 -22 Begins to look like that guy in the white house, Bubba. Login To Vote 180 -24 It's power company gets bought by a US utility Login To Vote 181 -25 legend steals my gag and can't spell Login To Vote 182 -26 The cat's name is either Earl or Mae Login To Vote 183 -27 She doesn't sit around the house. Please Login to add your own items Joining our humble order is fast and FREE!

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