| Yea | Nay | Rank | Votes |
| Login To Vote | 1 | 21 | She emerges from the ladies room with your apple juice. |
| Login To Vote | 2 | 21 | She howls with laughter every time you take a bite of your meal |
| Login To Vote | 3 | 20 | The sesame seeds on your hamburger bun are moving. |
| Login To Vote | 4 | 16 | 3 bowls of soup dumped in your lap in 15 minutes |
| Login To Vote | 5 | 14 | Check includes 15% "Gratuity", 15% "Service fee" and 15% "Chair rental" |
| Login To Vote | 6 | 14 | You find your fork is super-glued to your hand |
| Login To Vote | 7 | 13 | That strange almond flavor... |
| Login To Vote | 8 | 12 | The tuna salad is molded in the shape of a middle finger |
| Login To Vote | 9 | 11 | Chocolate ice cream tastes suspiciously like Ex-Lax |
| Login To Vote | 10 | 10 | Most restaraunts don't greet customers with "What the hell do YOU want?!" |
| Login To Vote | 11 | 8 | When you leave, she takes your whole wallet as a tip. |
| Login To Vote | 12 | 8 | Your fortune cookie says "Die pig!" |
| Login To Vote | 13 | 8 | Your meatloaf has wires coming out of it and it is ticking |
| Login To Vote | 14 | 7 | Guest check written in blood |
| Login To Vote | 15 | 5 | You find a bunch of short dark hairs on your cheeseburger... |
| Login To Vote | 16 | 4 | String hanging out of your Bloody Mary |
| Login To Vote | 17 | 3 | She staples the bill to your forehead instead of to her clipboard |
| Login To Vote | 18 | 3 | Those crunchy bits in your salad don't seem like crutons. |
| Login To Vote | 19 | 3 | Your beer is extra foamy |
| Login To Vote | 20 | 1 | "No soup for you!!" |
| Login To Vote | 21 | 1 | Your final bill looks like the new total of the national debt |
| Login To Vote | 22 | 1 | "I know where you live" written on the back of your bill |
| Login To Vote | 23 | 0 | You find chicken bones in your hamburger |
| Login To Vote | 24 | -1 | She gives you the check before you even get the appetizer |
| Login To Vote | 25 | -1 | She serves you your own large intestine - WITHOUT KETCHUP! |
| Login To Vote | 26 | -2 | Coffee's so hot, it melts the cup |
| Login To Vote | 27 | -2 | You find that the ketchup she dumped on you oddly resembles a target. |
| Login To Vote | 28 | -3 | Didn't ask for flambe... everything is flambe. |
| Login To Vote | 29 | -3 | Everybody got haggis. Lots of haggis. |
| Login To Vote | 30 | -3 | Keeps giving you the Heimlich when you're not even choking. |
| Login To Vote | 31 | -3 | She secretly put shampoo on your salad instead of dressing. |
| Login To Vote | 32 | -3 | She serves you dishwater instead of that high priced champaign you ordered. |
| Login To Vote | 33 | -3 | You tell her that you're deathly alergic to nuts, and she serves you pecan pie |
| Login To Vote | 34 | -4 | She puts her cigarette out in your coleslaw |
| Login To Vote | 35 | -4 | Warms the table bread by sticking it in her armpit. |
| Login To Vote | 36 | -5 | You ask for a Coke, she says "Make 7 UP YOURS" |
| Login To Vote | 37 | -5 | You spot an AK-47 aimed at your head from the kitchen |
| Login To Vote | 38 | -6 | "I didn't order a cheeseburger with tarantula" |
| Login To Vote | 39 | -6 | The raisins in your oatmeal are not really raisins |
| Login To Vote | 40 | -6 | Water seems foamier than usual |
| Login To Vote | 41 | -6 | You ordered a burger but got (what she called) the "Yam Surprise" |
| Login To Vote | 42 | -6 | you see her squatting over your coffee mug in the back of the kitchen |
| Login To Vote | 43 | -7 | "You mean to tell me that WASN'T chicken?" |
| Login To Vote | 44 | -7 | Flips you the bird when you ask for coffee refill |
| Login To Vote | 45 | -7 | No matter what you order, everything looks like dogpuke. |
| Login To Vote | 46 | -7 | She takes your silverware |
| Login To Vote | 47 | -7 | Your soup is cold and your coke is boiling hot |
| Login To Vote | 48 | -8 | Coffee in lap |
| Login To Vote | 49 | -8 | She blows her nose in your turkey club sandwich |
| Login To Vote | 50 | -9 | Coughs up a lunger as a garnish for your burger |
| Login To Vote | 51 | -9 | Instead of the Caesar salad you ordered, she brings yesterday's meatloaf |
| Login To Vote | 52 | -10 | I don't know what this is, but is sure as S**T isn't beer! |
| Login To Vote | 53 | -10 | Sugar for your coffee replaced by dandruff |
| Login To Vote | 54 | -10 | That "yellow streak" in your coffee... |
| Login To Vote | 55 | -10 | the steak you ordered, with a side of lugie |