| Yea | Nay | Rank | Votes |
| Login To Vote | 1 | 16 | NEVER schedule first class before 10:00am |
| Login To Vote | 2 | 15 | Congratulations. You're paying for the honor of jumping through hoops for 4 years just to get a piece of paper only your first employer will ever care about |
| Login To Vote | 3 | 13 | Crates make awesome furniture |
| Login To Vote | 4 | 13 | Your first friend you make should be someone with wheels |
| Login To Vote | 5 | 12 | Study in the Library, Drink in the Bar - Do NOT mix and match these |
| Login To Vote | 6 | 9 | Unlike the old geezer guard in high school, campus security can lock your ass up! |
| Login To Vote | 7 | 6 | He who has the best AV system has the most friends |
| Login To Vote | 8 | 5 | 'Animal House' was NOT a documentary |
| Login To Vote | 9 | 4 | You exist to be taken advantage of by upperclassmen - deal with it |
| Login To Vote | 10 | 0 | Learn to distinguish schwag from kind. |
| Login To Vote | 11 | 0 | NO means More Beer |
| Login To Vote | 12 | -1 | Beer is your best friend - you'll drink a lot of it. |
| Login To Vote | 13 | -2 | Exploit fast Net connection to get Warez, MP3z, and pr0n |
| Login To Vote | 14 | -2 | Get used to abstinence - frosh women date upperclassmen, upper class women don't date frosh men |
| Login To Vote | 15 | -5 | don't eat the yellow snow |
| Login To Vote | 16 | -10 | Laundry detergent is for illiterate people |
| Login To Vote | 17 | -11 | Non-stop gaming sessions do not a life make |
| Login To Vote | 18 | -16 | Don't eat random mud. |
| Login To Vote | 19 | -16 | Yeck Ko is not to be toyed with |